It's consecrated virginity (God willing)

A member of Caritas Christi e-mailed me today that she thinks that I should remain a Lay Carmelite and that wanting to join a secular institute is a temptation that I must reject, since joining a secular institute would mean that I would have to give up being a Lay Carmelite.

I replied:

It's strange, but I feel more at peace now. I still would like to dedicate myself to God more completely. Three years after making permanent profession (permanent profession for me would be in 2011 or thereabouts), Lay Carmelites can take private vows of chastity and obedience. God willing, if I am gainfully employed and the local diocese (I suspect that by 2015 or so, I might be living in a condo in Rialto near the Byzantine Catholic parish of St. Nicholas, so I can attend Liturgy there regularly -- besides, it is less expensive to buy a place in Rialto than in West Covina) approves of it, I might become a consecrated virgin as well. Now I know why I refused to "go all the way" with the guys that I made out with 20 and more years ago :-)

And I do enjoy the Lay Carmelite community of which I am a part: I do not want to give that up. Also, I do feel an affinity with Carmelite spirituality and the Carmelite saints. One of my favorites is a 19th-century Spanish Secular Carmelite, Blessed Josefa Naval Girbes (1820-1893).

I meant every word that I wrote. God grant that my ambitions come true, if He wills it!