Which model of the Church do I have?

You Scored as Sacrament model Your model of the church is Sacrament. The church is the effective sign of the revelation that is the person of Jesus Christ. Christians are transformed by Christ and then become a beacon of Christ wherever they go. This model has a remarkable capacity for integrating other models of the church. Sacrament model 100% Servant Model 84% Mystical Communion Model 78% Herald Model 72% Institutional Model 56%

It's consecrated virginity (God willing)

A member of Caritas Christi e-mailed me today that she thinks that I should remain a Lay Carmelite and that wanting to join a secular institute is a temptation that I must reject, since joining a secular institute would mean that I would have to give up being a Lay Carmelite.

I replied:

It's strange, but I feel more at peace now. I still would like to dedicate myself to God more completely. Three years after making permanent profession (permanent profession for me would be in 2011 or thereabouts), Lay Carmelites can take private vows of chastity and obedience. God willing, if I am gainfully employed and the local diocese (I suspect that by 2015 or so, I might be living in a condo in Rialto near the Byzantine Catholic parish of St. Nicholas, so I can attend Liturgy there regularly -- besides, it is less expensive to buy a place in Rialto than in West Covina) approves of it, I might become a consecrated virgin as well. Now I know why I refused to "go all the way" with the guys that I made out with 20 and more years ago :-)

And I do enjoy the Lay Carmelite community of which I am a part: I do not want to give that up. Also, I do feel an affinity with Carmelite spirituality and the Carmelite saints. One of my favorites is a 19th-century Spanish Secular Carmelite, Blessed Josefa Naval Girbes (1820-1893).

I meant every word that I wrote. God grant that my ambitions come true, if He wills it!

In memoriam Gatinha

Gatinha, one of our family's cats, was run over by a car this morning. My brother took her to the veterinarian as soon as the vet's office opened, but to no avail: the vet had to put Gatinha to sleep this evening.

Gatinha (Portuguese for "kitten" or "pretty girl") was a domestic longhair with the coloring of a Himalayan. She had the loveliest, if rather blank, deep blue eyes. She came into the life of the da Brescia family when she was about four months old. It was about four years ago, on a stormy night. She was wet, thin, bedraggled, skittish of everything and everyone. My mother fed her. My brother and I helped. Slowly Gatinha became used to us. We had her fixed, of course: there are too many strays and feral cats in this neighborhood, and we did not want to contribute to the population problem.

Gatinha did not see or hear very well (Mom speculated that Gatinha was the product of inbreeding among the neglected cats of a neighbor), and liked to stay close to home, even though we let her outside. I don't know why she was out in the street, since she did not like to stray from our yard. Perhaps a dog spooked her: that would be characteristic of her.

Poor baby, poor silly, simpleminded baby....

Renovating the bathrooms

Last Friday, I fell through the floor of the master bathroom. The floor had been rotting for months, if not years. It was weird to be one moment on tile and the next moment in mud, two feet or so below the tile. Thank goodness I only received a few scratches!

My mother had deferred maintenance because we don't have a lot of money. Ever since my father left in 1996, things have been tight financially chez da Brescia. However, my falling through the floor was the last straw. Now we are having renovated the second bathroom, which has been out of commission for years. I would love to be able to use the bathtub in there once the work is finished! After the second bathroom is finished, my mother plans to get the master bathroom done. And of course the roof has to be repaired before the rainy season starts again: we don't want to use buckets to collect the rainwater in the dining room for a long long time.

I told Mom that I could give her $2000. All she said is "we'll see."

Nativity of Mary

By the way, today was the Nativity of Mary. I was so lazy that I stayed at home all day, but I prayed the Liturgy of the Hours and read today's Scripture readings for Mass and the Office of Readings.

Of course, that is what I do every day, but it would be nice to have company to do it with me and keep me from dragging my feet spiritually. It is sooo hard to do these things on my own. Eh bien! God's will be done! (But it's hard to understand why God allows these little inconveniences.)

Caritas Christi

I have been in contact with the secular institute Caritas Christi. However, there is a bit of a snag, since I am not gainfully employed. I think I could work part-time (10 to 20 hours a week to start with, then gradually increase up to 30 hours). In fact, I think that I could easily become qualified to be a parish director of religious education (DRE). In my parish, the duties of the DRE are split according to the age of the students. There is a DRE for the elementary school level and a DRE for middle school and high school students. Each, I think, works between 30 to 40 hours a week. (The effective DREs for RCIA and adult religious education are one of the deacons and his wife.)

Of course, this is all moot if I do not keep my Medi-Cal health insurance, which is probably the main reason I am reluctant to go to (paid) work. (I have calculated that my three psychotropic medications would cost nearly $700 a month if I had to pay the full cost out of pocket.) Social Security has a Ticket to Work program that I have been looking into. I don't know whether the Ticket to Work would facilitate my becoming a parish DRE, however.